(Not So) Elite Penguin Force: Paper Chill

Prologue: A Plea from the Stars
(Note: The adventure that takes place after Chill goes to bed is a dream)

Chill: Ungh...That's the third time today I've finished Paper Mario...

Chill was addicted to Paper Mario.

Chill: Maybe I'll go to bed.

Chill turns off the TV and goes into his room. All his puffles are sleeping. He looks at his clock and sees that it's 11:30 at night.

Chill: O_O

Chill gets takes off his checkered shoes, and puts his amulet on the shelf and jumps into bed.

Chill: Zzzzzzzzzz....

Chill wakes up. The sun is shining.

Chill: What a nice day!

He gets on his checkered shoes and amulet and, after feeding his Puffles, goes down to check his mailbox.

Chill: Yay! I got a letter!

From: Princess Peach

To: Chill

Dear Chill,

''Please come to the castle. I am having a party. Bye!''

Chill: Huh? How do I get to the castle???

Chill walks outside and sees that he isn't in Club Penguin anymore. For some reason, his igloo has been moved to the location of Mario and Luigi's House in Paper Mario.

Chill: Weird...

A warp pipe is there that wasn't before. Chill jumps in, and comes up at Toad Town.

Chill: Ahh. I know this place. Now I know how to get to Peach's Castle!

Chill walks through Toad Town. Nobody is there, because they are all at Peach's Party. Eventually he gets into Peach's Castle. There are many people there.

Russ T: Hi Chill! This is a lovely party, isn't it?

Chill walks to the 2nd floor.

Mayor Penguin: Greetings, Chill! I just talked with Princess Peach.

Chill walks up the stairs.

Toad Guard: Peach is in there.

Toad Guard points to the door he is guarding. Chill goes inside. Then he goes through a hallway, and goes into another door.

Peach: Hi, Chill!

Chill: Hi Peach.

BOOM!

Chill: What was that?

Peach's Castle goes up into the air.

CRASH!

Herbert breaks through the window in a thingamabobber!

Herbert: BWAHAHAHA!

Peach: Herbert! What are you doing here? Didn't you learn your lesson the last time Chill defeated you?

FLASHBACK!

Chill: Herbert, if you don't drop it, the island will sink.

Herbert: Grr! Fine! I'll drop the statue!

Herbert drops his statue into the Geyser, and saves Club Penguin.

END FLASHBACK!

Herbert: I don't really care!

Peach: :|

Kammy flies in.

P.T. Piranha: You're late.

Kammy: Sorry! They wouldn't let me out of the Nutty House!

FLASHBACK!

Kammy: Cookies...COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES MUST HAVE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bowser snatches Kammy's wand and sends her to the Nutty House.

END FLASHBACK!

Kammy: Explain to me-why am I working for this oversized hamster again?

Herbert: I'm not a hamster, dummy!

PT: For the story.

Chill: Why are you here?

PT: Oh, some guy hired me to do the Paper Chill stories.

Fourth Wall: OWW!

Herbert: Erm, anyways, let's fight!

Miniboss: Herbert

Chill jumps on Herbert.

Herbert: Ow!

Herbert slaps Chill.

Chill: Hmmm...

Chill jumps on Herbert.

Herbert slaps Chill.

Chill jumps on Herbert.

Herbert: Heh, you're good. But not for long...

Herbert holds up the Star Rod.

Twee: My wand!

Herbert: Get out of here, you pink pickled fairy!

Twee flies away.

Herbert: I'm invincible!

Chill jumps on Herbert. But nothing happens.

Chill: Oh noes!

Herbert: Bye bye!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIZZLE!!!!!!

Chill: Oh noes! I'm burnt!

Chill faints. Herbert tosses him out the window.

Peach: :O

Herbert's troops come and kidnap Peach.

Meanwhile, in some place called Goomba Village...

Goombaria: Ello, yellow!

...

Goombaria: C'MON! SNAP TO IT! WAKE UP!

Goombaria slaps Chill with her Peach Doll.

PT: Umm, Goombaria, that's supposed to be lost.

Goombaria: Oh, okay!

Goombaria tosses the Peach Doll somewhere. It lands in someplace. Yeah. You heard me. SOMEPLACE. Where else did you expect?

Goombaria: Why won't he wake up? GOOMPAPA! GOOMPA! GOOM-BARIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goombaria runs off.

A while later, 8 stars appear. The first one is wearing a green cap and has a mustache. The second one has a blonde wig and sunglasses. The third one is wearing a red toque and spy goggles. The fourth one is wearing a brown wig and 3D glasses. The fifth one is wearing a detective hat and sunglasses. The sixth one is wearing an orange spiky wig and sunglasses. The seventh one is wearing a blue ball cap and blue mask. The eight one is wearing a yellow spiky wig and sunglasses.

Star 1: OK gang, we got to get Chill back to normal.

Star 3: Can I go back to Boo's Mansion yet? I NEED FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!

Star 1: Not yet.

Star 3: Darn.

Star 8: Maybe if we use our power...?

ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP

Chill gets zapped 8 times.

Star 2: Oh noes! We're outta time!

ZAPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The stars disappear.

Four goombas run in and pick up Chill. They take him back to the village and put him in the Toad House.

Dingy ding ding!

Star 1 appears.

Star 1: Chill, you have to go to Shooting Star Summit. I have something important to tell you there. Now I'm going to wait there and eat some pie. Bye bye!

Star 1 disappears.

Toad comes in. Chill gets up.

Chill: Ehhh? What happened? O_O

Toad: IDK!! OH AND TOAD IS THE BEST!!!! OK, really.

Chill: Hmm, did you see some star with a cap and mustache?

Toad: No...I haven't seen anyone come in or out. TOAD IS THE BEST!

Chill: A star with a cap and mustache told me to go to Shooting Star Summit.

Toad: Hmm, I heard that Herbert turned some people into stars. You should go rescue them! Maybe you should go to Shooting Star Summit to see what they wanted! TOAD IS THE BEST!

Chill: Chill's eardrums- Oh darn. I'm starting to sound like Toad.

Chill runs out.

Goombario: Hihihihihihihihihihihihihihi can I join you thanks.

NEW PARTY MEMBER! GOOMBARIO!

Goombario can use Headbonkabonkabonkabonk or Tattletale!

PT: Heh. I'm messing this up good. :P

Chill: Wait! You skipped a whole portion of the story! :S

PT: Soz.

PT rewinds to the beginning.

Chill: Too far!

PT rewinds to when Chill comes out of the Toad House.

Goompapa: Ohai! I'm just fixing this fence. All done.

BOOM!

Kammy: Ehehehehehehehe I dropped a block on your nice fence now bye! :)

Kammy disappears.

Goompapa: I just fixed that fence...Nobody say the word fence to me.

Goombario: Goompa and Mr. Hammer are up fixing the veranda...Mr. Hammer loves to eat things! You should go see him!

Chill runs through the house to the balcony.

Goompa: Howdy.

Mr. Hammer: I'M HUNGRY!!!!!!

Chill: (muttering) Reminds me of LMGT.

Chill goes down into the house and runs out.

Goompa: CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S REAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Chill runs to the balcony.

CRASH!

Chill: Where did the veranda go?

Chill is standing on nothing.

Chill: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash!

SHOOM! SHOOM! SHOOM!

Chill: Ehh?

Goompa: Ello Chill! Here's Mr. Hammer!

...

Goompa: He was around here somewhere. Oh look! There he is!

Mr. Hammer is floating in a bubble at the playground thingy.

Goompa: Oh look, it's Goombaria's Peach Doll!

POP!

Chill takes Mr. Hammer and the Peach Doll.

NEW PARTY MEMBER (sorta)! MR. HAMMER!

Mr. Hammer can...Well he's not a partner but you can use him to attack. HE EATZ STUFFS!!1!1

Klutzy: Clicky click! >:( Clickty click click? :S Clicky click click! D:<

Goompa: What's he trying to say?

Miniboss: Klutzy

Klutzy: Clickity click click! :P

SMASH!

Mr. Hammer: Nummy nummy!

Cookie Monster: C is for cookie, and that's good enough for me!

Chill: I thought we got rid of you like 2 stories ago.

Cookie Monster: Oh, sorry.

Cookie Monster explodes.

Goompa: Was that in the script?

Goompa pulls out his script.

PT: Yes, but that wasn't.

Klutzy: Click! :P

Chill: He's still here!

SMASH!

Mr. Hammer: YUM YUM!!!

Mr. Hammer explodes. Klutzy flies to...umm, I dunno. But we'll see him come next chapter.

Chill: Hey, he won't eat stuff anymore!

Goompa: Oh, I forgot, after you attack with him two times, he turns to a normal hammer. :D

Chill: ...

Chill and Goompa run down Goomba Forest.

Chill: Why are you following me?

Goompa: Because. You're leading me back to Goomba Village.

Chill: :S I never agreed to that!

Eventually they reach Goomba Village.

Chill: The gate is locked!

Goompa eats the fence.

Goompa: Oh, did you know my dad was an Orange Puffle?

Chill: Then why are you a goomba?

Goompa: Cuz my mother was a Goomba.

Chill: No logic whatsoever, but mmkay.

Goombario and Goombaria: Hi hi!

Goombaria snatches the Peach Doll. Or...

Chill: Why did you take my hammer?

Goombaria: ...

Goombaria swaps the hammer with her Peach Doll.

SMACK!

Goombaria: <3

Chill: Ahhhhh...

Chill faints.

Goombaria: Oh no! Not again!

Goombario headbonks Chill. He jumps up.

Goombario: Hi there can I join you thank you so much!

Chill: But-

NEW PARTY MEMBER! GOOMBARIO!!!

Goombario can use Headbonk and Tattle! :D

Goombaria: I'm an unused partner. :'(

Some guy from Nintendo: You were too girly.

SMASH! POW!

PT: Don't call my characters girly.

Some guy from Nintendo: Actually, we sold them to you.

Goombaria: YOU SOLD ME?????????????????

Goombario: YOU SOLD ME??????????????? FALCON PAUNCH!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Some guy from Nintendo: I got wupped!

Nintendo Dude leaves.

Chill and Goombario leave. Chill smashes the block.

Goompapa: Hold on, I gotta fix the gate.

2 hours later...

Goompapa: OK, it's fixed.

Chill tries to open it.

Chill: The door won't open!

Chill hammers the gate down.

Goompapa: Umm, I just fixed that gate... For this you get...

AWESOME GUITAR SOLO! CHEW CHEW CHEW!

Hyper Goompapa: HYPER GOOMPAPA!

Goombario: O_O

Chill and Goombario run off, but not before stealing all the Goomnuts in the tree. They run down Goomba Road.

HG: I IS AFTA YOOZ!!!!

Chill: Nice. Using a song that doesn't come until Chapter 3.

PT: How does you know? :O

Chill: I've played this game like-

STOMP STOMP STOMP

Chill starts running with Goombario.

Chill: -like I dunno but I finished it 3 times.

Goomba: Don't hurt me!

HG squishes Goomba.

Goomba: BLAGIDAGAGAGAGAG!

POOF!

Kammy: Hey, just came by to- Oh man, I came too-

SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kammy: Oww! YOU ROTTEN MEGA GOOMBA!!! >:(

Kammy teleports away.

Goombario: Only...a...few...more...miles...

Chill: Darn...

Goombario accidentally runs over a balloon and pops it. A koopa with sunglasses and a purple shell appears.

Dark Koopa: Who popped a balloon?

Chill: Umm, he did!

Chill points at HG!

Dark Koopa: GAME OVA, DUDE! POPPING BALLOONS ARE NOT KEWL!

BOOM!

HG explodes.

Goompapa: BLAGIDAGAGAAGAGAG!

Goompapa flies to Goomba Village.

Dark Koopa: Bye!!!

Chill and Goombario walknwalknwalknwalk!

Blue Goomba: U WONT STOPZ USSSSSSSSSS!

Red Goomba: YA, HE GOTZ DAT RAIT!

PT: Hmm, let's see, settings, evil goombas speak broken english, off.

Blue Goomba: You won't stop us!

Red Goomba: Yeah, you got that right!

Miniboss: Red and Blue Goomba

Chill: I know!

Chill gets out a can of something.

Chill: GOOMBA REPELLENT!

Goombario: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Blue and Red Goomba: ...

ZAP!

Blue Goomba: Hypnotized, hypnotized, soon you will have swirly eyes...

LarryRawr: RAWR! THAT'S MY GIG!

York: RAWR! THAT'S MY LINE!!!!!

York beats up LarryRawr.

Chill: GOOMBA REPELLENT ATTACK THINGY!

Chill sprays Goombario with the Goomba Repellent.

Goombario: COUGH I'M DYING OVA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH!

Goombario turns green.

Red Goomba: Eyes swirly have will you soon, hypnotized, hypnotized...

Chill turns normal.

Blue Goomba: What kinda mumbo-jumbo was dat?

Red Goomba shrugs.

PT: Oh noes! Red Goomba defeated logic! He shrugged without shoulders! Or arms!

PT grabs the Ultra Pencil of Authorness and erases Red Goomba.

Goombario: Help meh...

Chill pours medicine all over Goombario. He turns brown.

Goombario: (sarcasm) Gee, thanks.

Dark Koopa: Who used a sarcastic tone?

Chill: Umm, he did!

Chill points at Blue Goomba.

Dark Koopa: Not cool man!

Dark Koopa dropkicks Blue Goomba to Goomba King's Castle. He lands on top of Red Goomba.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEESH!

Goombario: Now THAT sounded just gross.

Chill and Goombario run ahead.

Goomba King: Blah blah blah defeat us.

Miniboss: Goomba King and those Pesky Guys (Red and Blue Goomba)

Goomba King: I thought I was a chapter boss!

PT: You don't qualify 'cuz it's not the end yet.

Goomba King: Oh. OK.

whisper

Goombario: Let's do it!

Chill and Goombario toss lots of Goomnuts at Goomba King, Red Goomba and Blue Goomba. Trust me, it looks funny with "Goomba King's Decree" playing!

Red Goomba: Oh noes!

Red Goomba explodes.

SHOOM!

Goomba King and Blue Goomba explode.

Zippidy zip zip!

Chill and Goombario run ahead.

Passing Goomba: Wait! What about the castle thingy?

Chill: Heh, he didn't think we forgot, did we?

Chill tosses a bob-omb backwards. The castle explodes. Passing Goomba turns into Dry Goomba.

Dry Goomba: I will gets dem. But for nao, I gots me a bell! Yaaaaaaaaay!

Kammy: Oh mys! This time I came too late! Darn!

PT: That's because you're old and slow.

Kammy: (sniff) I quit!

Kammy throws her contract into a black hole.

Kammy: WOAH! WHEN DID THAT GET THER-

Kammy gets sucked in. BOOM!

Anyways, at Herbert's Castle...

Kammy: So then he says "That's because you're old and slow"! Hmmph!

Herbert: (thinking) Hmm, maybe I shouldn't rely on some so-called wizard from a nutty house. (talking) Anyways, what's your report on Chill?

Kammy: Chill? Chill?? Chill??? Oh my, I was so enraged about P.T. Piranha, I forgot all about him!

Herbert: You're fired!

Kammy: Okay!

Kammy flies out.

Herbert: D'oh! No more magical stuff! Come back, Kammy!

Kammy: (chuckles) Heh, knew he would change his mind.

Koopa Bros: Dudes. You took long.

Herbert: OOOOOOOOOOPS!

Pooooooooof...

Red: What was that?

Herbert: Erm, I think I let one rip.

Red: O_O

Herbert: Anyways, who is guarding Mario R-

ZEEEEEEAP!

Meanwhile, back on Goomba Road...

Kammy appears!

Kammy: (talking to PT) You cut us off! (talking to readers) Here's what happened.

FLASHBACK!

Herbert: Anyways, who is guarding Mario Rk?

Green: Oops!!

Herbert: GET OVA THERE NOW!!!!!!!!

Kammy: Hey, that dumb plant cut us off.

Kammy teleports away.

END FLASHBACK!

Kammy: So, yeah, that's what happened.

Fourth Wall: You just broke me!

Kammy: Do you have to make an appearance in ALL the Not So EPF stories?

Fourth Wall: Did it again.

Fourth Wall falls on Kammy.

Anyways, Chill and Goombario reach Toad Town. They run to Shooting Star Summit.

Goombario: Pwetty...

Chill and Goombario reach the top of Shooting Star Mountain.

Star 1: Hi Chill...It's-a me, Mario Rk...

Chill: Mario???

Mario: Herbert captured me, Johnny, LMGT, Penquino, Awesome, GGD, Kyle and Drpepper, and turned us into stars. Fix us by saving us! We also give you rewards too! :D

POOF!

Mario: Ooops, my time is up. By-

Goombario: ???

Chill shoves Goombario down Shooting Star Mountain.

Goombario: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Chill floats down by umbrella.

Goombario: Next Paper Chill story, I'm not gonna be your partner!

Chill and Goombario run to Merlon's house.

Chill: Get rid of those mean toads.

Chill opens the door and points at the Koopa Bros.

Chill: Eh?

PT: You haven't changed into toads yet?

Red: Oops!

Red gives everyone lame toad costumes that look like something a 5-year old toad made at Halloween.

Red: I'm not a clothes artist, OK? DEAL WITH IT!!!

They put the costumes on.

Merlon: Because I am too lazy to leave my house, I will do it this way.

Merlon sends a lightning bolt straight at the so-called toads. However, it goes right through...

Chill and Goombario: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

The toad costumes explode. The Koopa Bros run offz!

PT: I likes to mess up stuff.

Chill and Goombario run off.

Merlon: Chill, you will have to- HEY! WHY DID HE LEAVE!

Chill and Goombario run down Pleasant Path.

Chapter 1: Storming Koopa Bros. Fortress
Chill: Oh no! A goomba!

Chill points at Goombario.

Goombario: Umm, it's just me, Goombario.

Chill: Oh.

Chill and Goombario walk down the path.

Goombario: I think we need to go to Koopa Bros. Fortress...

Chill: Hey! There it is! That way!

Chill runs down a path clearly marked Koopa Village. Goombario follows. Eventually they come into the village.

Koopa: Help! Fuzzies stoll my shell!

Goombario: Something tells me this isn't Koopa Bros. Fortress...

Another Koopa comes.

Koopa 2: Hehe, I still have my-

SWIPE!

Koopa 2: HEY! GIMME BACK MY SHELL!

Koopa 2 begins chasing a random Fuzzy that doesn't even have a shell.

Ludwig: Help! I'm shell-less!

PT: HEY! Are you in Paper Mario?

Ludwig: Uh, no?

BOOM!!!!!!!

The spot where Ludwig was is completely black.

Chill and Goombario run to Kooper's house.

Chill: Anybody home?

Kooper (inside): Uh, a little busy!

Chill breaks the door down. Kooper is in his underwear.

Kooper: EEEEEEEEEEEP!

A Fuzzy jumps away with the shell.

Kooper: If you get my shell I will join you. NOW GO!

Kooper shoves Chill and Goombario out.

Fuzzy: MEEEEEEEEEEORK! YOU CAN'T CATCH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEORK!

Chill gets out a gum.

Fuzzy: O_O

BOOM!

The shell flies onto Chill's head and Kooper runs out.

Kooper: Why thank you!

Kooper snatches the shell.

Koopa C. Kent: Why tank woo!

Chill: PARTY HAT POKE!

Koopa C. Kent: Noooo!

Koopa C. Kent explodes.

Kooper: Who's that?

Chill: Running gag. C'mon, let's go to Koopa Bros. Fortress.

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Kooper

The gang (that will be used for Chill and his partners) run through Koopa Village then up Pleasant Path. This time they go to the Koopa Bros. Fortress.

Chill: Ya know what's cool?

Goombario: What?

Chill: You can have all your party members out at the same time.

Kooper: I'm tired of walking.

Goombario: We've walked more then you have and we're not tired! O_O

Kooper: I have I-Can't-Walk-For-Very-Long-Or-I-Will-Stop-Walking-Syndrome.

Chill: :|

RINGIDY RING RING!



Gary (on phone): That does exist, you know.

Chill: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Gary: Magic :)

Gary hangs up.

Chill: Well, I can do this.

The gang teleports to Koopa Bros. Fortress.

Kooper: Gulp...I don't wanna go inside!

Chill: We have to.

Clink!

Goombario: It's locked D:

Chill stuffs Kooper in a cannon aimed at the door. Chill lights the fuse.

Kooper: Hey what's going- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BOOM!

Kooper blasts all the way through Koopa Bros. Fortress into the Koopa Bros.' room.

Red: Well, well, well. Looks like another prisoner. >:)

Kooper: No wai- *SOCK!*

The Koopa Bros. toss Kooper off the edge into the dungeon with Mario (as a star), and some Bob-ombs.

Meanwhile...

The gang (minus Kooper) runs in.

PT: (yawn) I'm too bored to write the WHOLE Koopa Bros. Fortress thingy...

Chill: I wonder where we- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The floor opens up under the gang. They fall into the dungeon.

Kooper: Hey guys!

Kooper runs back.

Chill: I just noticed something...If this is Koopa Bros. Fortress, why do we have Castle Bleck music?

PT: We ran out of money.

Chill: :/

Mario: I have to do this otherwise I'll get fired.

Mario flies up into the Koopa Bros.' room.

Bombette: Oh boy!

Bombette explodes on the wall and, uh oh...Koopa Bros. Fortress begins crumbling.

Chill: Oh noes! We have to get out of here!

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Bombette

Chiill: The Tubba Blubba Chase music...

Blue Bob-omb: Well, DUH, it's called The Castle Crumbles! :|

Chill starts to walk out of the dungeon...

Chill: I have a better idea!

Chill wall jumps up the dungeon walls. Goombario, Kooper and Bombette start to wall jump as well. Then the Bob-ombs wall jump.

Meanwhile...

Koopa: Nothing like a good lava bath...

Koopa 2: You said it!

Koopa: Hey, what's that?

A wall falls on the two koopas.

Meanwhile...

Chill: Almost...there!!!

Chill, Goombario, Kooper, Bombette and the Bob-ombs get into the Koopa Bros.' room.

Green: Woah, dudes! How'd you get here so fast?

Black tosses the gang out of the room and onto the Bullet Bill thingy. Which also happens to be crumbling apart as I write. O ps, there goes one of my letters.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

1,000,000,000,000,000 Bullet Bills come at the gang.

Goombario: Oh boy! I love bullet candies!

Goombario eats all the Bullet Bills.

Chill: O_O

The gang runs up to the Koopa Bros. who are firing the cannons.

Yellow: Uh oh, uh oh, not cool!

Red: Plan of action; escape the fortress!

At that second, the bridge everyone is on crashes up to where the gang is.

Black: Eeek!

The Koopa Bros. bust into their room. The gang follows.

Bowser??? comes out!

Boss: Bowser???
Bowser???: Mwahahahahahaha! I am Bowser!

PT: facepalm Wait a minute... I don't have arms!

PT starts flapping his leaves.

PT edits the story.

Boss: Herbert???

Herbert???: Mwahahahahahha! I am Herbert!

???: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH! THEY THINK WE'RE HERBERT!

??? 2: Dude. You just blew it.

???: AWW MAN!

Herbert??? falls apart.

Red: Here come the Koopa Bros.!

Boss: Koopa Bros.
Red: WAHAHA!

Yellow: YOOZ-

Green: -WILL-

Black: -LOOZ!

Bombette: Ooo, shiny!

Bombette picks up a gold box. A pow block falls out. Bombette kicks it and the Koopa Bros. topple over.

Chill: Heh. Ready, team? WAHAHA!

Goombario: YOOZ-

Kooper: -WILL-

Bombette: -LOOZ!

Red: WAHAHA! WE WON'T LOOZ! If I can only get up... (muttering) Dang back problems!

RUMBLE RUMBLE

Chill: Oh no! The fortress is crumbling!

A block falls out of the ceiling. It breaks the Koopa Bros.' half of the bridge off. They fall into the dungeon.

Red: Hello?

The whole fortress topples on the Koopa Bros.!

Mario: Hurry! We have to get out before it falls apart totally!

Mario pulls Chill, Goombario, Kooper and Bombette out and onto Pleasant Path.

Mario: Guess what?

Chill: What?

Mario shows a piece of TNT.

Mario: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BOOM!!!!!

Mario explodes. He falls down as a penguin.

Mario: OK, so the next place you wanna go is Dry Dry Ruins. Johnny is there. And guess what? I'm a party member now!

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Mario Rk

Mario: Unfortunately I can only be used in battle. BUT we all have special attacks. Mine is...TNT Toss! With it, you can-

Chill: Yeah, yeah, throw TNT at an enemy.

Mario: HOW DID YOU KNOW? O_O

Chill: Magic. :)

Mario goes into Chill's hoodie pocket.

Chill: Whatever works.

Chill puts on rollerskates and then gives them to his partners. Then they roll down Pleasant Path.

Goombario: WEEEEEEEEEE!

Klutzy: Clickety click click? :O

BOOM!

Chill: KLUTZY!

Goombario: Oh noes! It's you!

Chill: But you weren't with me the first time I fought Klutzy. How did you know?

Goombario: Magic. :)

Gary: Why is everyone stealing my line! :(

Miniboss: Klutzy

Klutzy: Clickety click click! >:D

PT: Heh, extra defense.

Chill jumps on Klutzy. Chill dies.

Goombario: O_O

Klutzy: CLICKY 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!

The world explodes.

PT: That was dumb.

Rewind rewind rewind

PT gives Klutzy less defense.

Klutzy: Clickety click click! >:D

PT: Heh, extra defense.

Chill jumps on Klutzy. Nothing happens.

Chill: Forget this. PIE TIME!

Mario: You called?

Mario throws TNT at Klutzy. Klutzy faints.

Chill: Ooooooookay.

Chill runs to Toad Town.

Toad: Help! The Shy Guys!

PT: Ooops.

Toad: So, you wanna go to Dry Dry Desert? Okie.

Toad tosses the gang onto the train which immediately takes off.

Peach Intermission
Peach: Cookies!

Peach is eating. 16 empty cookie packages are beside her. Twink flies in.

Twink: Hi!

Peach: Hi! MPPPPH!

Twink: I'm Twink.

Peach: I'm Peach. MPPPPH!

Twink: Woah, that's alot of cookies.

Herbert runs in. Twink hides in a cookie package.

Herbert: OK Kammy, really, I'm telling you, I haven't seen my cookies anywhere!

Kammy: Ugh. Cookies. Those made me loony in the last story- OUCH!

Fourth Wall: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Bowser: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Random Chinese Guy: Hoyhoyhoyhoyhoyhoy!

Peach: (Uh oh. If Herbert knows I ate the cookies, he would be mad.)

Peach carries the cookie boxes and drops them over the edge.

Twink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 2: The Mystery of Dry Dry Ruins
Chill: Choo choo! Weeee!

The train stops at Mt. Rugged.

Toad Conductor: All passengers headed for Mt. Rugged, Dry Dry Desert or Dry Dry Outpost should head directly from this station.

Chill climbs up the mountain.

Monty Mole: I dove to weat wocks!

Goombario: :|

Meanwhile, up ahead...

Monty Mole 1: Oh look...A penguin >:)

Monty Mole 2: Yaaaaay!

Monty Mole 1: Let's-a go!

Super Mario appears and beats up Monty Mole 1.

Super Mario: My line!

Monty Mole 1 opens up a hole under Super Mario.

Super Mario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PT: Super Mario 64 falling sound ROCKS MY SOCKS!

PT looks down at his leaf hands.

PT: Erm, if I had any socks.

Parakarry: If you find my letters I will join you.

Chill grabs Parakarry by his wings.

Chill: You WILL join us NOW!

Parakarry: O_O

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Paracarry

Paracarty: Oh darn. I'm one of those characters whose name the author messes up all the time.

Meanwhile, up in the author booth thingy...

PT: (talking on phone) Oh come on! ... I can't make the interview right now!!! I'm writing a story for some dude who paid me lots of cash! ... OK, good, get Bogmire to do it. (hangs up) Ugh, Shrooby gets so annoying...

Karaparry: To Dry Dry- BLAGIDAGAGAGAG! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!

Parakart throws a tantrum.

Wendy: THAT'S MINE!

Wendy blasts Parkary and steals the tantrum.

Chill: Freak.

A hole opens up under Chill.

Monty Mole 1: LUNCH TIME!! :D

Kooper: O_O

Chill: AHHHHHHHHH! (Heh, do those mole-thingies even KNOW what I can do?)

Chill lands in a pot of boiling water.

Chill: NO MATCH FOR THE CHILL MASTER!

Chill freezes the water and jumps up. The gang walks by the Monty Moles, but they don't notice.

Bombette: I have an idea! Let's slide down this hill! Weeee!

Bombette goes slides down a slope and falls...In a bowl of cereal?

Bombette: At the end of the slope I find me Lucky Charms...

PT: Yum!

PT gets a spoon and takes some of the Lucky Charms.

PT: Magically delicious!

You got a cereal!

Goombario: That is grammatically incorrect.

Bombette is carrying 100 bowls of cereal back with her. It goes into the team inventory. Did I mention they had a team inventory? Too bad!

Bird-dude: Attack you, I will!

GGD: YODA TALKZ!

PT: GGD, you should be trapped in star form with Huff N Puff.

GGD: Ooops!

GGD disappears.

BOOM!

Bird-dude: Oh, my name is Buzzar.

PT: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buzzar: Oh, I mean, Buzzar, my name is!

Fawful: You talk worse then Fawful! Fawful talks better then you and he talks bad on purpose!

Cackletta: Get out of this story!

Fawful: No!

Cackletta: Oh look! A piece of cereal!

Fawful: WHERE?!!!!!!!!!!!!?!???

Cackletta: In that portal!

Cackletta jumps in a portal that goes out of the story.

Fawful: FURURURURUURURURURURUURURRU!

Fawful jumps in.

Miniboss: Buzza-

Waluigi: CHEATING BOB-OMB!

Buzzar faints.

Goombario: What's up with all these crazy cameos?

PT: I WOVE CAMEOS! In meh story, Lemmy's Mansion, there were-

PT starts rambling like Morton. The gang ignores him and goes to Wet Wet Dessert. But the Dry Dry Desert music is still playing.

Goombario: O_O An ice cream sundae sea! The ground is an ocean of melted ice cream, and there are chocolate syrups -oops, grammatically incorrect- and mounds of ice cream!

Chill: LMGT would totally love this place.

Kolorado: You need help?

Chill: Yah!

The gang runs over to Kolorado.

Chill: Why is the sky blue?

Kolorado: No, I mean about Wet Wet Dessert.

Chill: Oh. What happened to Dry Dry Desert?

Kolorado: The desert was no fun so we made it an ice cream sundae land instead.

Chill: Why is the music the same?

Kolorado: We were to lazy to change it.

Kooper: KOLORADO??????????????????????????????????????? I ISH U BIGGEST FAN!

Kolorado: :D

Chill: Thanks!

The gang runs along. Parakarry has to drag Kooper.

The gang swims through ice cream, and they eat it. Eventually they reach Dry Dry Outpost.

A Nintendo guy: Should we change Dry Dry Outpost too?

Another Nintendo guy: ID-

PT: AWAY WITH YOUR PRESENCE!

Marylin: GUHHHHHHHHHH!!!

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOCK! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOCK!

The Nintendo guys explode.

PT: I like to make things explode!

PT explodes a random Dryite kid.

Dryite Kid's Mom: THAT'S CRUEL!

PT explodes the Dryite Kid's Mom.

Chill: O_O Next thing you know, he's gonna blow up my part-

PT explodes Chill's party hat. Chill pulls out an extra.

Chill: Good thing I picked up like 700 at the Anniversary Party.

Meanwhile, in Chill's hoodie pocket...

Mario: Zzzzz...pie...zzzzz....

Meanwhile, back to WHERE EVERY 1 IS...I mean where the gang is.

Sheek: If you're a nice guy, you will gimme a lemon.

PT explodes Sheek. The Pulse Stone falls into the team inventory.

BLINKY BLINK!

PT: It blinks when you are at Dry Dry Ruins.

Chill: :D

Chill digs up Dry Dry Outpost and tosses it into Wet Wet Dessert.

Kooper: Eeep! Dry Dry Ruins! I feel like Kolorado!

Meanwhile, Dry Dry Outpost is sinking into the ice cream.

Dryites: Help help help I'm drowning I'm drowning I'm drowning repeat three times repeat three times repeat three times

Goombario: Wasn't Dry Dry Ruins in Dry- I mean Wet Wet Dessert before?

PT: I moved it for fun. And to torture Shrooby.

Meanwhile, at PT's Interview Studio...

Shrooby: Ungh. My arms are still hurting from when PT made me move Dry Dry Ruins...

Meanwhile, at Dry Dry Ruins...

Chill: Ugh. This music has always creeped me out.

Boo: WhO dArEs To EnTeR dRy DrY rUiNs?

Parakarry: AHHHHHHH! Ooooo, hot dogs.

Chill: La la la...

Chill uses Super-Duper-Mega-Paintbrush-Thingy and Dry Dry Ruins becomes multi-colored.

All the Boos and Mummies in DDR: AHHHHHHHH! BRIGHT, AWESOME COLORS! THEY BURN!

Someone tosses a snowball through the window and it lands on a mummy.

Mummy: Ahhh! A snowball! It doesn't burn!

All the boos and mummies run away. Shy Guy's Toybox music plays.

Chill: That's better.

Goombario: Hey...I just noticed something. It said "All the Boos and Mummies in DDR"...Did that mean Dance Dance Revolution?

PT: It means Dry Dry Ruins.

Goombario: Oh.

Bombette: Where did you see that?

Goombario: The script. :D

Kooper, for no reason, eats the walls down, and there's lots of extra room.

Kooper: FREE SPACE!

Koops: Help meh.

Kooper: Koops! My long lost cousin!

Koops: First I get trapped in Hooktail Castle, now this creepy place.

Chill: It's not creepy anymore...

Kooper throws Koops to Petal Meadows.

Koops: THANK YOU!!!!!!! NOT SARCASM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The gang goes into another room. The Dry Dry Ruins music comes back.

Chill: Oops. I forgot to paint this room.

Chill uses the...Paintbrush Thing...and it becomes multi-colored. The music still won't change.

???: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

A wild Tutankoopa appeared!

Boss: Tutankoopa
Dum dee dum dum!

Tutankoopa: Come, Chompy!

A Chain Chomp comes in.

Chompy: BARK BARK!

Chill: CHOMPY?

Chill, Goombario, Kooper, Bombette and Parakarry begin laughing.

Chill: AHAHA! THAT'S SOMETHING -HAHAHA- A 2-YEAR OLD -HAHAHA- WOULD THINK OF! AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Tutankoopa: But...but...

Tutankoopa starts crying.

Goombario: All according to plan.

Kooper: I don't feel too well...

Kooper spits up the walls he ate onto Tutankoopa.

Tutankoopa: Oh no.

ZAP!

Chompy: Hurray! I can speak English now! Also, I don't like you Tutankoopa. You were mean. Another thing. WAHAHA! YOOZ DID LOOZ! >:P CHOMP REBELLION!

A million chain chomps come.

Tutankoopa: O_O

The chomps chase Tutankoopa out of the ruins. BOOM! A giant blast sends everyone to the front of Dry Dry Ruins, where we see Chain Chomps eating Tutankoopa.

WARNING! THIS SCENE IS CENSORED BECAUSE OF GENERAL NASTINESS! FAWFUL THANKS YOU! -Fawful

WE ARE BACKNESS! THE SCENE OF GROSS-NESS IS NOW OVER! FAWFUL THANKS YOU! -Fawful

Chill: That was weird.

The gang walks out of the ruins.

Chill: Hey, wasn't Johnny supposed to be in there?

Bombette: That last penguin we rescued said that...

A star flies out. It has blond hair and sunglasses.

Johnny: Thank you!

Johnny explodes into a penguin.

Johnny: Here is my power. It's called ULTRA WIGS!

Chill: facepalm Hey, the running gag thingy from the first Not So EPF is back!

Johnny: It raises your attack power to...Oh wait, we don't have attack power. But it makes your defense power OVER 9,000!!!!!!

Johnny shrinks and jumps into Chill's hoodie pocket with Mario.

Mario: Hey Johnny.

Johnny: Hey Mario.

Chill: I'm too bored to jump on the train.

The gang randomly teleports to the outside of Forever Forest.

Scare T. Pants: AHHHH! A GHOST!

Scare T. Pants points at a white rock. Bootler flies by.

Scare T. Pants: Oh look! A rock!

Scare T. Pants points at Bootler. Bootler flies into Forever Forest.

PT: Heh. I love humorous names like that.

Scare T. Pants: Hey...Wasn't my name Fice T?

PT: Yeah, but Scare T. Pants fits your personality better.

Scare T. Pants: :( Get rid of them!

Scare T. Pants shoves the gang into Forever Forest.

Peach Intermission
Herbert: Since when did those cookies appear?

Kammy: Since the guy in a black suit told me there were more cookies.

Meanwhile, up in the galaxy...

Darth Vader: She got the message, sir.

Lakitu: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Darth Vader: O_O You should be someone else!

Lakitu disappears and is replaced with a pebble.

Darth Vader: ...

The pebble disappears and is replaced with Yoda.

PT: Heh. I love re-using stuff from my Lemmy's Land stories!

Meanwhile, back in Peach's room...

Herbert: OK, everything's OK here.

Herbert and Kammy leave the room. Twink flies in, with a black eye.

Twink: Oww... How did I even SURVIVE that?

If you remember, in the last intermission, Twink was dropped off the edge of Bowser's Flying Castle.

Peach goes to where Herbert and Kammy were, and takes the cookie boxes out. Then she eats them.

Herbert (in other room): Oh man. I forgot to go check something in there.

Twink: Herbert's coming!

Twink hides in one of the empty cookie boxes. Peach takes them and drops them over the edge, again.

Twink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 3: The "Invincible" Tubba Blubba
Chill: Why is there Castle Bleck music in Forever Forest?

PT: Same for Koopa Bros. Fortress.

A Forest Fuzzy jumps in the gang's way.

Forest Fuzzy: I WILL DESTROY YOU!

PT: DON'T TOUCH THEM!

PT jumps out of his seat.

Forest Fuzzy: Heh, what are you gonna do?

PT: Super Fist of the Nosehair: Majide Time!

Chill: What's SFOTN: MT?

PT opens a book.

PT: Super Fist of the Nosehair: Majide Time is an attack that sends enemies through 1 minute of totally wacky events that makes them say "Are you serious?!" which gets them punished.

Chill: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

The gang, PT and Forest Fuzzy are warped to P.T. Land, which is where PT lives. The Brobot Battle music plays for no reason.

PT: Oh, just to let you know, Fuzzies are not liked in P.T. Land.

FF: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

FF gets smacked with a rock.

PT: See? You shouldn't say are you serious here. :P

FF: ARE YOU SERIOUS!??!?!?!?!?!??

Same ol' rock thing.

FF: Ow.

A glob of nothing comes in.

FF: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ROCK!

Glob: I like nachos, and frozen yogurt. Yes.

FF: ARE YOU SER- I mean, O_O

PT: Too late, you started to say it.

ROCK!

FF: Hey, if I don't say are ya serious, then I won't get hit with rocks!

PT: But the effect is so dramatic that it forces you to say are you serious!

PT gets hit with a rock.

PT: D'oh!

Everyone disappears and reappears in a theater.

Somebody: For tonight's performance, Peter Tarantula Piranha (PT's full name) will be playing Elmo's World.

FF: ARE YOU SERIOUS!??

ROCK!

The gang starts laughing.

PT begins playing Elmo's World on the piano...really badly...

FF: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ROCK!

FF: Ugh...

FF faints.

PT: Majide Time is ova!

Everyone teleports back to Forever Forest, except for Forest Fuzzy, because he fainted there and now he is stuck there forever.

Bombette: Thanks!

Chill57181 (the wiki user): Psst! There will be a picture of P.T. Land on the bottom of this story once it is completed! Bye-bye!

PT: And here's somethin' special for ya.

PT gives the gang a free pass to Boo's Mansion. Actually, not really, cuz you don't need a pass, but it lets you skip the Forever Forest Maze every time. It goes into the team inventory.

Bombette: I like Lucky Charms, and other cereals. Yes.

Bombette eats a bowl of cereal.

Chill: USE!

Everyone teleports into Boo's Mansion.

Chill: This music is creeeeeeepy!

PT: OK!

PT tosses a puzzle pass at Chill.

PT: You can skip most of this place with it.

Chill uses it. The 2nd song is playing.

Goombario: Cool- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Everyone ends up in Bow's Room.

Bow: Great job. You finished the puzzle. And on deh firsts try!

A cage comes down. LMGT (in star form) is inside it.

LMGT: I NEED FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Bootler: Shaddup!

LMGT: How insulting! FOOOOOOD! I can't believe you would tell me, a foodtacular penguin with interesting things to say, to be quiet! FOOOD! Hmmph!

Bow: If you beat Tubba Blubba I'll give you Annoying-Food-Star-Dude. We'll nickname him AFSD.

LMGT: It's LMGT!

Bow: Silence, nonbeliever!

LMGT: :|

The cage goes up.

Bow: Whatdya say? New party member thrown in aswell? The one and only me?

Chill: Okie do-

Goombario: Mmkay.

Chill: I was supposed to answer. OK! Let's-a go!

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Bow

The gang runs to Gusty Gulch. The glob from Majide Time opens the gate.

Glob: I like nachos, and frozen yogurt. Yes.

Parakarry: AHHHHHH! IT'S REAL!

Chill: This place reminds me of that game I played...You were this spaceman thingy rescuing a cowboy and you had to go into this Western House or whatever...

PT: Yeah, not to spoil anything, but the Not So EPF Producers are making a story about that.

Chill: :O NOWAI!

PT: Yes way! And meet Glob from Majide Time. He's REAAAAAAAAAAL! REAL I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHAHHAHAHAHAHOOOO!

Brown Boo: Ahhh! Tubba-

1-up Boo: -Blubba is going to-

Black Boo: -eat us!

PT: Hey! More tourists!

Kingfin: CAN I HAVE COOKIES?

1-up Boo: Move along. Void and Vim, you too.

1-up Boo, Void, Vim and Kingfin leave.

The gang runs through Gusty Gulch.

Bow: OK, Tubba Blubba's Castle is up ahead.

The gang runs into the village. Tubba Blubba comes.

Tubba Blubba: I smell boos up ahead... :D

Everyone except Tubba: O_O

All the boos turn invisible. Bow makes herself and the rest of the gang invisible too.

Tubba Blubba: Aww man. No snacks here. I guess I'll have something bland.

Tubba Blubba starts to eat dirt.

Tubba Blubba: Yuck! Maybe there will be more when I come back!

Tubba Blubba leaves. The gang turns back to normal and follow him. He goes into Tubba Blubba's Castle.

Bow (whispering): Guys, make sure you're quiet.

The gang follows Tubba Blubba through the WHOLE castle. Aww man, they're making my story too short!

Tubba Blubba: I'm gonna get Zeeeee's!

Tubba Blubba jumps in bed. He starts talking to the air.

Tubba Blubba: Hi, Z!

Tubba Blubba falls asleep.

Bow: OK, let's-a go!

Super Mario: My line!

Bow: Cry me a river.

Meanwhile, on Mt. Rugged...

Monty Mole 2: You think that penguin should be done now?

Monty Mole 1: Yup.

The Monty Moles walk into the hole.

Monty Moles: HE'S GONE!!!!!!

The Monty Moles fall in the pot.

Meanwhile, in Tubba Blubba's Castle...

Chill opens up a chest.

Key: ELLO, YELLOW! MY NAME IS YUCKY! YAKKEY'S COUSIN AFTER HE BROKE TO PIECES! WAIT, YOU GUYS AREN'T TUBBA BLUBBA! HEEEEEEEEEEELP!

Chill: O_O

Goombario: RUN!

Tubba Blubba: RAWRGH!

Tubba Blubba accidentally smashes a piece of the wall...That was holding up the whole castle.

Tubba Blubba: D'oh! Well, I can run down these thieves and escape my castle at the same time!

Tubba Blubba looks around the room to see that, while he was rambling, the gang escaped the castle.

Tubba Blubba: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MAJIDE TIME!

PT: YOU STOLE THAT FROM ME! YOU SHALL PAY! SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MAJIDE TIME!

The gang, PT and Tubba get sent to P.T. Land, where the Brobot Music plays.

PT (on banner): AND NOW, THE 6130468 HOUR MARATHON OF SESAME STREET!

Tubba: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?

ROCK!

Tubba: What the...

PT: Oh, everytime you say ARE YOU SERIOUS you get hit with a rock. And it's so random that you HAVE to say it so you can't not say it! And if you faint here you will be stuck here forever! WAHAHHAHAH!

Tubba: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

ROCK!

PT (on banner): Sorry, we will no longer have a 6130468 hour marathon of Sesame Street.

Tubba: Yaaay!

PT (on banner): Instead, we will have 1 hour of Sesame Street, 1 hour of Barny & Friends, 1 hour of Sesame Street, and to top it all off, 1 hour of Barney & Friends!

Tubba: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ROCK!

Everyone appears at the same theater.

Glob: I like nachos, and frozen yogurt. Yes.

PT: Just get on with it!

Glob: Oh, because Somebody got fired, I'm doing the intro.

PT: Oh, guys, just so you know, that was an illusion I made, so Glob isn't real.

Glob: Today we have nachos, and frozen yogurt. Yes.

PT: RAWWWWWRGH!

Tubba: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ROCK!

Glob: Today we have Peter Tarantula Piranha playing Elmo's World on the piano!

Same song, second verse. PT starts playing it horrible!

Tubba: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ROCK!

Tubba dodges and who should it hit?

Forest Fuzzy: Huh? Oh, I woke up. Ahh!! I'm still- (CONK!)

Forest Fuzzy faints again.

PT: Uh oh. Only 50 seconds left to get in another are you serious...

Tubba: Ugh! Get me out of this place!

40 seconds...

PT: Aha!

30 seconds...

PT: And now, we are going to watch...

20 seconds...

PT: HOW TUBBA BLUBBA FELL OFF A CLIFF AND GOT GAME OVER-ED!

10 seconds...

Tubba: ARE-

8 seconds...

Tubba: -YOU-

3 seconds...

Tubba: -SERI-

WHOOSH!

PT: Noo! I didn't get my last are you ser-

WHOOSH!

Everyone goes back to Gusty Gulch.

PT: Awww....

Tubba: All right. I'll get you!

Chill's gang turns invisible. Tubba darts past them.

Kooper: Oh lolololololololol!

The gang teleports into the Windy Mill.

Tubba's Heart: O_O

Boss: Tubba Blubba and Tubba's Heart
Heart: I know a secret attack that will wipe you off the face of Not-So-EPF-Land!

Everyone except Heart: :O

Johnny (in pocket): Use meh!

Heart: Charging... 10/100...

Goombario: He thinks this will work? O_O

Heart: 50/100...60/100..................99/100...

Chill: ULTRA WIGS!

Heart: 100/100! MWAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!

Kirby: OVER 9000!!!!

Chill: No Kirbys after the first Not So EPF! Unless you pay me $500 again!

Kirby: Sorry.

Heart: BOOOM!

Tubba's Heart throws a toy airplane at the gang.

Mario: TNT!

BOOM!

Tubba Blubba bursts in. Don't ask how.

Heart: Eat...me...

Tubba Blubba eats his heart. How? DON'T ASK QUESTIONS LIKE THAT!

Tubba: Me turnz!

Chill PWNs Tubba. They leave Windy Mill.

Bootler flies in with LMGT's cage. He smashes it open.

LMGT: Finally!

LMGT explodes and turns to normal.

LMGT: My move is Donut Swirl! I come out and spin around and it throws good donuts at you, and bad donuts at bad guys! OK! Bye!

LMGT shrinks and jumps in Chill's hoodie pocket. The gang tries to get back to Toad Town but they are stopped by...

Klutzy: Clicky click click! ^_^

Miniboss: Klutzy

Klutzy puts on a jetpack and starts flying.

Goombario: If you lose on purpose I'll give you some Lucky Charms.

Bombette: Hey!

Klutzy: Click click? :O CLICKY CLICCCCCCCCCCK! :D

Klutzy attacks himself, and takes a bowl of Lucky Charms.

Chill: 98 bowls left.

Klutzy runs off.

The gang jumps into a random house.

Chill: I like random houses.

PT makes the random house explode. All that's left is a toy box. Oh, and the gang is there too. The gang jumps down the toy box.

Peach Intermission
Herbert: OK, more cookies, good.

Herbert leaves Peach's room. Twink flies in. He has another black eye now.

Twink: Ohhh....I feel terrible.

Peach: Hehe!

Peach takes the cookies out and starts eating them. After a while...

Twink: YOU ATE ALL THE COOKIES AGAIN!?? O_O

Herbert: Oops. I left the Star Rod in there.

Twink: Eeep!

Twink flies into a cookie package. Peach drops them down the edge, again.

Twink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Chapter 4: Trials in the Toy Box
Chill: Wee!

The gang crashes into the floor. Tubba Blubba comes out of nowhere!

Tubba Blubba: I didn't get to say the running gag last time. So I'll say it now. WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

PT: Kinda late for it now...

Tubba: Silence, nonbeliever!

PT: Oh, that's enough. SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: P.T. ROULETTE!

A spinning wheel appears. There are several spaces on it. One has Chill's head, then Goombario's, Kooper's, Bombette's, Parakarry's, Bow's, PT's and Tubba's.

Tubba: Hah! What's that gonna do?

A clone of PT starts spinning the wheel.

PT Clone: Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna beeeeeeeeeee?

The spinner lands on Chill. He gets smashed with Megahammer's mega hammer.

PT: O_O ARE YOU SERIOUS!??!?

PT Clone: Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna beeeeeeeeeee?

The spinner lands on PT. He gets set on fire.

PT: OW HOW!

Tubba: Hah! I rigged it so that I'll never get selected!

PT Clone: Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna beeeeeeeeeee?

The spinner lands on Tubba.

PT Clone: Your punishment is... "Get Blown Up By PT"!

Tubba: Wha?

Tubba explodes. PT jumps back to the author booth thingy. The PT Clone and the P.T. Roulette disappear.

Chill: I know how to get to General Guy!

Chill pulls out a handbook that says General Guy's How To Find General Guy, written by General Guy himself.

LMGT (in Chill's pocket): I NEED FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Oh, crackers!

Chill: The book says this way!

The gang runs down a path that is clearly marked "THIS PATH DOESN'T LEAD TO GENERAL GUY".

Anti Guy: If you defeat me, I will explode you to the Big Lantern Ghost. Of course that's impossible. Weehehehehehehe!

Miniboss: Anti Guy

Anti Guy: BLOCK TOSS!

Anti Guy throws building blocks at the gang.

Anti Guy: DAMAGE IS OVA 9000!!!!!!!! WEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

BOOM!

Nothing happens.

Anti Guy: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

PT: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Anti Guy: No I won't.

PT: Silence, nonbeliever!

Anti Guy: :|

Chill: GO! DONUT SPIN THINGY!

LMGT jumps out and tosses donuts at Anti Guy.

Anti Guy: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow stop that hurts ow ow ow!

Anti Guy explodes. Everyone is sent to Big Lantern Ghost.

Big Lantern Ghost: If you defeat me, I will explode you to General Guy. Of course that's impossible. Wehehehehehehehehehe!

Mario: TNT!!!!!

Mario throws TNT at Big Lantern Ghost. He explodes, and everyone is sent to General Guy's room.

Chill: Why is it so empty here?

BREAK!

A lantern breaks open. Watt comes out.

Watt: WAHAHA! I WILLZ JOIN YOOZ!

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Watt

Goombario: Excuse me, Random Shy Guy, where is General Guy?

Random Shy Guy: He's in the bathroom.

General Guy runs out a door that says BATHROOM.

General Guy: WHAAA? DEFEAT ZEM!

Boss: General Guy and his Army
Shy Squad: Hiho! Hiho! It's off to work we go!

General Guy: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

PT: Why do people keep saying that out of Majide Time? :(

General Guy runs over the Shy Squad.

Shy Squish: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

General Guy: STILT GUYS! SHY STACK! GLOB OF SOMETHING! ATTACK!

Stilt Guys land. 4 Shy Stacks land. Glob lands.

Glob: I like nachos, and frozen yogurt. Yes.

General Guy runs over Glob. He disappears, revealing it was an illusion created by PT. Again.

Kirby: INHALE!

Kirby inhales the Shy Guy army.

Chill: I said no Kirbys after Not So EPF!

Kirby: Sorry.

General Guy: O_O FINE!!!!!!! I'LL BEAT YOU MYSELF! WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

General Guy tries to run over the gang. However...

Chill: You know, the part that holds it up shouldn't be marked "Don't take this off, or the tank will fall apart".

Chill proceeds to take it apart and the tank blows up.

General Guy: ..............

General Guy drops Star Penquino. He explodes into penguin form.

Penquino: Thanks! My attack is "THE POOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!" and a bunch of Pookies attack enemies.

Penquino shrinks and jumps into Chill's pocket.

Mario: TNT!

Shy Guy's Toy Box explodes.

Whale: Hi! I'll take you to Mt. Lavalava. But you have to get rid of the Fuzzipede in me first.

Whale eats the gang.

Chill: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Fuzzipede: I don't like it in here!

Rumble rumble...

Chill: OH NO!

Goombario: DIGESTION! :O

GAME OVER!

Chill: Noooo! I forgot to save!!!

ZAP!

Chill: Ungh...That's the third time today I've finished Paper Mario...

Chill was addicted to Paper Mario.

Chill: Maybe I'll go to bed.

Chill turns off the TV and goes into his room. All his puffles are sleeping. He looks at his clock and sees that it's 11:30 at night.

Chill: O_O

Chill gets takes off his checkered shoes, and puts his amulet on the shelf and jumps into bed.

Chill: Zzzzzzzzzz....

PT: HOLD ON! TIME PARADOX!

PT sends everyone back to Toad Town.

Whale: Did you get rid of it? Oh yeah, I don't feel it. Aha! Ha ha ha!

Chill: TUNA RIDE!

Kolorado: TORPEDO AWAY!

Kolorado jumps on the Whale too. They go to Lavalava Island.

Peach Intermission
Peach: Yum, cookies!

Twink flies in again. He is barely yellow now.

Twink: Owww...

Twink falls into an empty cookie box. The door opens.

Peach: !

Peach grabs the cookie boxes and, instead of walking to the edge and dropping them, tosses them off the balcony.

Twink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO MORE TWINK! :(

CRASH!

Chapter 5: Hot Times in Mt. Lavalava
Kolorado: I'm going to the jungle. WAHHAHAHHAHHAHH! YOOOOOOOOOOOZ WILLLLLLLLLL LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ!!!!!!!!!! >:D

The Gang: !

Kolorado: Just kidding. :)

Kolorado runs off. The gang goes to Yoshi's Village.

Mayor: Help, the Yoshi kids are missing! They ran into Jade Jungle!

Chill: O_O

Jade Jungle explodes. The Fearsome 5 and Sushie land in Yoshi's Village.

Kirby: Yay!

Chill: NO KIRBYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kirby: Sorry.

Red Yoshi Kid: That was fun!

Sushie: I'll join you.

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Sushie

The gang runs into the jungle where Kolorado is.

Kolorado: Mt. Lavalava! :D

Kolorado jumps onto Mt. Lavalava. But he misses, and-

Kolorado: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kolorado explodes.

Kooper: NOOOO! KOLORADO!

Meanwhile in the Underwear...

Queen Jaydes: GAMEOVERGAMEOVERGAMEOVERGAMEOVERGAMEOVER- CONTINUE!

Meanwhile, in the Jungle...

A wild Kolorado appeared!

Kooper: Phew.

Kolorado: Let's make a path thingy!

The gang runs into Jade Jungle. All that's left is a bunch of water and some floating grasslands.

Chill: No problem!

The gang runs to the Raven Statue which is still there. Chill puts the Emerald Bird of Whimpyness in it.

Parakarry: When did you get that?

Chill: In a deleted scene.

BOOM!

The Raven Statue explodes. The gang starts walking but-

Chill: BLUBUBUB!

The gang swims to Raphael the Raven. Raven the Raphael. Raphael the Raphael. Raven the Raven. Insert random word here the Insert random word here.

Raphael the Raven: SO YOU WANT TO GO TO MT. LAVALAVA?!?!?!???!??!?

Raphael's booming voice sends the gang flying all the way back to Goomba Village, which is pretty good considering that Goomba Village is far, far away from Lavalava Island.

PT: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MINIVAN ATTACK!

PT throws a fully loaded minivan to Goomba Village. The gang rides it back to Raphael. The minivan explodes. The gang puts on earmuffs.

Raphael the Raven: I CAN ARRANGE THAT! CAWY CAW CAW!

Klutzy: Clicky click?

PT tosses Klutzy to Toad Town.

A bunch of Ravens make the bridge thingy appear.

Kolorado: Oh, joy!

The gang runs into Mt. Lavalava.

Parakarry: KETCHUP AND MUSTARD SUPREME!

Parakarry squirts Ketchup and Mustard all over the place. The lava hardens.

Chill: OH MAN! I FORGOT TO GET THE SUPER HAMMER IN DRY DRY RUINS!

Meanwhile, in Dry Dry Ruins...

Professor Frankly: So you found a hammer?

Goombella: Yupperz!

Meanwhile, in Mt. Lavalava...

Goombario: Umm, Chill, there's an ultra hammer in here.

The lava starts going fast and chases them.

Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Chill shoves Waluigi in the lava. The gang starts running. Bombette trips over the Ultra Hammer.

Bombette: Chill! The Ultra Hammer!

Chill runs back and grabs it.

Parakarry: I THOUGHT ALL THE LAVA HARDENED?

PT: I wanted dramatic effect so I took it away.

Bow: Heh, watch this.

Bow stays where she is. The lava catches up to her, and nothing happens.

Chill: Nice.

The gang keeps running.

Mario: Zzzz...pie...zzzz...

Lava Piranha: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

The lava sinks down.

Boss: Lava Piranha
Lava Piranha: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

PT: Not on my watch! SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MAJIDE TIME!

Chill: Oh boy! Majide-

POOF!

Lava Piranha: What's Majide Ti-

POOF!

Everyone is in P.T. Land again. The music doesn't change because the battle already started.

PT (on banner): Welcome to Elmo's World!

Lava: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

ROCK!

Lava: D'oh!

PT: Lava, I got you some chicken strips. :D

Lava: Yay!

PT eats them.

Lava: NOOOOOOOO- (struggle sounds) ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

ROCK!

Everyone appears at that same old theater.

Forest Fuzzy: Oh, finally.

Somebody: For tonight's performance, Peter Tarantula Piranha will be playing Lava Piranha's Battle Theme on the piano!

PT: Here we go!

PT starts playing the song on the piano...really badly...

Lava: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

ROCK!

Lava dodges and it hits Forest Fuzzy.

Forest Fuzzy: Oh boy. I'm a running gag now. Nighty night!

Forest Fuzzy faints again.

Lava: No...no more...

Curtains: YOU WILL LOOZ!

Lava: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Lava faints.

PT: Majide Time ova!

POOF!

Chill: Thanks PT!

???: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

A fiery Lava Piranha pops up out of the lava.

PT: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEH-

Fiery Lava knocks out PT.

Fiery Lava: Wehehehe!

Shy Guy: As the best author in the world, and writer of Puffle Launcher Lawn Chair, I WILL TAKE OVER!

Shy Guy jumps in the author booth. PT wakes up.

PT: OUTTA MY SEAT!

PT eats Shy Guy.

Sushie: WEED MA-SHEEN!

Weed Ma-Sheen: Winning!

Weed Ma-Sheen chops down Fiery Lava. He drops Star Awesome. He explodes to a penguin.

Awesome: Thanks! My attack is SUPER FIST OF THE AWESEOMNESS: AUTOMATIC DESTRUCTION ATTACK! It defeats enemies in one hit.

ZOOM!

The lava starts flooding in.

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

???: Don't forget me!

A Dry Bones wearing an exploration hat thingy walks in.

Dry Kolorado: Let's-a go!

The gang, Awesome and Dry Kolorado make a mad dash for it.

Lava: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Awesome: STAR POWER!

Awesome turns back to a star and flies everyone out of Mt. Lavalava.

Dry Kolorado: Good thing I got the treasure in a deleted scene.

Dry Kolorado holds out a vase.

Everyone lands in the jungle just before the volcano erupts.

Chill: Phew!

Awesome shrinks and jumps in Chill's pocket.

Chill: ONWARD!

The gang jumps on Whale and rides back to Toad Town. However...

Klutzy: Click...click...click...

Klutzy is swimming to Lavalava Island.

Klutzy: Clicky click >:D Click- CLICK?

Klutzy jumps back in the water and chases Whale. At Toad Town...

Klutzy: CLICKY CLICK! CLICKZ CLICK CLICKZ! :P

Miniboss: Klutzy

Klutzy puts on a jet pack and opens his claws.

Klutzy: Click >:)

Bow: We can just give him Lucky Charms again.

Bombette: Too late. I just ate the last bowl.

Awesome: SUPER FIST OF THE AWESOMENESS: AUTOMATIC DESTRUCTION!

Klutzy gets sent flying off somewhere. The gang runs to the garden.

Toadette: You didn't collect the seeds on your adventure?

The door appears and opens anyway.

Toadette: O_O

The gang runs in.

Peach Intermission
Herbert: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE ALL OUT OF COOKIES!?!??

Kammy: They keep disappearing!

Meanwhile, Peach is eating the last cookie. Twink crawls in. (He had a hard time climbing to the balcony!)

Twink: Owwwwwwww.........

Twink tumbles in a cookie box. Peach throws them into the garbage. Some random Koopatrol who appeared out of nowhere takes the trash bin and dumps it into a lava river.

Twink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Chapter 6: Dark Days in Flower Fields
The gang gets tossed out some revolving door by a chicken nugget with arms.

Chill: I wanna go back! CHICKEN NUGGET PWEASE!

Chill tries to eat the chicken nugget with arms.

Chicken Nugget With Arms: Hey! >:(

Tree Winklewoods: Welcome to Flower Fields!

Kooper: Wasn't your name Wise Wisterwood?

Tree Winklewoods: No, that was my brother, from a cousin, twice removed, from another mother, and from her brother.

Bow: ...

Tree Winklewoods: Anyways, some people on Yard Crashers stole him. So I'm here now.

Bow: I'll say it again! ...

Sushie: Where did Goombario go?

Goombario is eating the grass.

Chill: GOOMBARIO!

Goombario: My new name is Grassio.

Watt: facepalm

Kooper: I'm too lazy to do the whole Flower Fields thing.

A magic carpet appears.

Kooper: Sweet!

The gang jumps on it and collects all the important stuff. And they beat up Rosie and get the Water Stone.

Chill: ONTO THE MACHINE!

The magic carpet explodes.

Kooper: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Everyone jumps across the things.

Star Bunny: Jump and spin!

Chill: I thought that was Super Mario Galaxy.

Star Bunny: Silence, nonbeliever!

Chill does the star spin and the block things move. Eventually they find the cloud machine and...turn it into ice cream and eat it? O_O Suddenly all the clouds go away.

Tree Winklewoods: Thank you!

Goombario: How are we hearing you from all the way over there?

Tree Winklewoods: Silence, nonbeliever!

PT: You were supposed to say "Magic :)".

Tree Winklewoods: Oh, OK. I mean, Magic :)

Spike: Yooz forget meh!

Goombario: ............

Chill: Hi Lakilester.

Spike: NOOOO! MY NAME IS SPIKE!

Spike beats up the gang.

Chill: AHHHHHHH!

Meanwhile up in Herbert's Castle...

Twink: Ahhh...Herbert...is...coming...

Twink faints into the cookie box. Peach drops it off the edge, again. Meanwhile, in Flower Fields...

???: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

A cookie box falls onto Spike.

Spike: Blagidagagag....

Lakilulu: Stop that, Lakilester!

Lakilester: NOOOOOOOOO! MY NAME IS SPIKE!!!!!!!!!

NEW PARTY MEMBER! Lakilester

Lakilulu: Take him. I don't want him anymore.

Lakilester: O_O WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The gang (including Lakilester) go to plant the bean thingy.

Lakilester: BEANBEAN KINGDOM!

Sushie: You've been playing too much Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, haven't you?

Lakilester: ...

After they plant it, they jump on a leaf. Wait, what's that? SMB RETRO CASTLE MUSIC!!!!!!!! :O RETURN TO NOSTALGIA! Anyways, the leaf is going up.

Chill: Weeee!

Bombette: No shoving!

Everyone arrives at Cloudy Climb.

Huff N Puff: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Boss: Huff N Puff
Huff: It's...it's...YOU!!!!!!

FLASHBACK!

Chill: No way! Huff N Puff Battle music for Huff N Puff! Not sarcasm!

Huff: :\

Everyone jumps at him and - OH NOES! RUFF PUFFS! AND TUFF PUFFS! AND CREAM PUFFS!

Huff: Cream Puffs weren't even in Paper Mario.......

Fourth Wall: RAWR!

Huff: OWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Fourth Wall: NOBODY BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL! NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huff: Aww man.

More ruff puffs, tuff puffs and cream puffs appear.

Huff: facepalm

Johnny: Lolololololol!

Huff: Can somebody please stop the cream puffs?

Author: Sure thing.

PAUSE

Author Settings > Battles > Cream Puffs > Off

Author: Better?

Huff: We'll see. Somebody jump on me!

They all jump at him and half of him explodes.

Huff: Woah!

Ruff Puffs and Tuff Puffs fly out.

Author: No cream puffs :(

LMGT: You look delicious.

Huff: No I don't!

LMGT: Are you chocolate Ice Cream?

Huff: NO!

LMGT: You look it.

Huff: I DO NOT!

LMGT: DO TO!

Huff: DO NOT!

LMGT: DO TO!

LMGT jumps at him and eats part of him.

Huff: Owowowowowowowowowow!

LMGT: >:O YOU LIED! YOU TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huff: I hate gluttons.

LMGT: YOU'LL PAY FOR DAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!111!1!!!1!1!!!!!11!!!oneoneonoenoenetwotwo25235197461974359billion11!

LMGT stuffs Huff into a paper sack. However, he blows it up.

Huff: :P

LMGT: GRRRRRRRR!

LMGT eats him again.

LMGT: I LOVE CHOCO-LATTE ICE CREEEEEEEEEAM!

Huff: PUFF SQUAD!

A bunch of Ruff Puffs and Tuff Puffs appear and start to attack LMGT.

Author: RAAAAAAAAAWR!

The author goes to his settings and turns Cream Puffs back on.

A wild cream puff appeared!

Huff: I'LL GET YOU AUTHOR!

Author: Hey, be nice, I have the power to write you outta this story!

Huff: Aww man.

LMGT eats the Puff Squad whole.

LMGT: NEAPOLITAN!

Huff: facepalm

Chill: Is that gonna be a running gag or something? There's always before and after facepalm?

Explorer: I think that's already been implemented.

Kirby: Must taste chocolate guy!

Huff: What?

Kirby inhales Huff.

Huff: NOOOOOOO- GAMEOVER

END FLASHBACK!

Chill: Heh. Awesome memories. SUMMON GLUTTON!

Huff: Wha?

LMGT jumps out of Chill's pocket. He goes to normal size.

LMGT: :O YUMMMY! IT'S THE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM CLOUD!

LMGT starts eating Huff. Huff swats at him.

Huff: Grr... PUFF SQUAD!

A bunch of Tuff Puffs, Ruff Puffs and Cream Puffs appear. LMGT eats them all.

LMGT: NEAPOLITAN!

Huff: O_O

The gang starts eating him (including Mario, Johnny, Penquino and Awesome).

Huff: NOOO! NOOOOOOOO!

Huff explodes into a million Ruff Puffs, Tuff Puffs and Cream Puffs. GGD flies down, in star form. He explodes into a penguin. Unfortunately, the explosion destroys Cloudy Climb and they fall down.

GGD: Ow. My attack is TV-Time which traps enemies into a TV.

GGD shrinks and jumps into Chill's pocket. Mario, Johnny, LMGT, Penquino and Awesome do the same thing.

Tree Winklewoods: Why thank you!

Koopa C. Kent: Why tank woo!

Koopa C. Kent runs off.

The gang runs back to Toad Town. They jump down a pipe into Toad Town Tunnels.

Goombario: I is bored.

The gang jumps into a random pipe.

PT Clone: Where they gonna go? Where they gonna go? Where they gonna go? Where they gonna gooooo?

Peach Intermission
A star that looks like Twink flies in.

Peach: Mmmm...cookies...

Twink look-alike: Hi! I'm Twink II because you hurt Twink so bad he couldn't come anymore!

Peach: A bug!

Peach captures Twink II in a cookie box and throws it far away.

Twink II: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Chapter 7: A Star Friend on Ice
The gang flies out of the pipe.

Goombario: Woah!

They crash into a house.

Parakarry: Owww!

They decide to visit DA MAY-OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

...Sorry.

Mayor's Wife: Hi!

The gang and Mayor's Wife go to the back room.

Mayor Penguin: X_X

Mayor's Wife: :O YOU!

Mayor's Wife attacks the gang. Chill beats her up mercilessly!! Despite the fact that he'll probably go to jail. Mayor Penguin wakes up.

Mayor's Wife: X_X

Mayor Penguin: Thanks! I never really liked her anyway.

Kooper: O_O

Mayor Penguin gives them a scarf.

Mayor Penguin: Merlee has the other half!

The gang runs to the newly rebuilt Dry Dry Outpost.

Merlee: A piece? I do not have it, silly geese! That would be my cousin, who lives in the snow-usin...Starborn Valley! Yes, that is where you will rally, to find...OH FORGET IT!

Merlee Falcon Punches them to Starborn Valley.

Merlo: Here is the bucket, yes. Do you have any nachos, or frozen yogurt?

The Gang: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The gang dashes out of Merlow's house to go to the path thing.

???: CLIIIIIIIIIIIICK!

Klutzy comes in with a Magic Wand.

Miniboss: Klutzy

Klutzy: Clicky click :P

Bow slaps Klutzy.

Klutzy: ...CLICK! CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!! :'(

The magic wand explodes. Suddenly Klutzy turns light blue and freezes.

Monstar: You forgot me!

Mario throws TNT at Monstar. He explodes, and a bunch of Star Kids run away.

Chill: To the mountain!

The gang runs through Shiver Mountain, after they did the snowman's puzzle.

PT: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: INTERIOR REMODELING!

Shiver Mountain becomes a straight path into Crystal Palace. The gang runs in. Castle Bleck music plays...

Chill: Wh-

PT: SAME AS KBF AND FF!

Forest Fuzzy: Me?

PT: No! Hey, how did you get out of Majide Time World?

Forest Fuzzy: Aww man...

Forest Fuzzy disappears. He reappears at the theater in Majide Time.

Bow: Crystal Palace is so hard.

Suddenly everyone teleports to where the Crystal King is.

Crystal King: Mwahaha! You will lose...

Boss: Crystal King
Ruff Puff (Huff N Puff): No it's; WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Crystal King: ...Fine. WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Chill: Pushover. I've beat you three times in Paper Mario with no damage! (I love cheat codes...)

Crystal King: I'm the second-to-last boss...NO DAMAGE!??! WAHAHA! I HAZ FAILZ!

BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

Mega Crystal King: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Chill: GARY FEVER!



Mega Crystal King: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mega Crystal King explodes.

Goombario: Why are all the bosses so easy?

PT: Be happy!

Two stars come down. They are Kyle and Drpepper.

Chill: Two stars?

PT: I messed up and added an extra star.

Kyle and Drpepper explode into penguins.

Kyle: My move is SUPER KYLE where I come and attack enemies.

Drpepper: And my attack is the same as in PLLC where I spill Dr. Pepper!

Kyle and Drpepper shrink and jump in Chill's pocket. He teleports to Shooting Star Summit, then to Star Way. They go up and up and up! Until they reach Star Haven.

Chapter 8: A Friend-Powered Showdown
Twink: .........................................................

They go into the Star Spirit House.

Star Spirits: Go to Herbert's Castle and get the Star Rod!

Mario Kart Wii Race-off
The gang jumps in the cruiser thing. Suddenly they appear on Rainbow Road (the Mario Kart Wii track). The gang is in the cruiser thing. The other racers are Super Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Peach, Bowser and Toad.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Super Mario
 * 2) Luigi
 * 3) Yoshi
 * 4) Peach
 * 5) Bowser
 * 6) Toad
 * 7) The Gang

Lakitu: 3...3 and a half...3 and 2 quarters...GO!

Everyone blasts off.

Super Mario: Let's-a go!

Luigi blasts through an item box and drops a Fake ? Block.

CRASH!

Bowser: WAAAAAAAAARGH!

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Super Mario
 * 2) Luigi
 * 3) Yoshi
 * 4) Peach
 * 5) Toad
 * 6) The Gang
 * 7) Bowser

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Super Mario is too busy showing off and falls off the track. Lakitu puts him on, but he fell behind.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Luigi
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Peach
 * 4) Toad
 * 5) Super Mario
 * 6) The Gang
 * 7) Bowser

Bowser: WAHAHA! YOOZ WILL LOOZ!

Bowser throws a Blue Shell. It hits a random Mii.

Mii: OooOOoooOOOooooO!

Chill: Gogogoogogogoogo!

Chill uses the Gold Mushroom. BLAST! BLAST! BLAST! BLAST!

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Luigi
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) The Gang
 * 4) Peach
 * 5) Toad
 * 6) Super Mario
 * 7) Bowser

Toad: TOAD IS THE BEST!

Toad throws a red shell. It hits Yoshi, but when he lands he accidentally smashes Peach off the course. Everyone passes him. Peach is dropped back onto the track.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Luigi
 * 2) The Gang
 * 3) Toad
 * 4) Super Mario
 * 5) Bowser
 * 6) Yoshi
 * 7) Peach

A single shot shows Super Mario doing tricks on his bike.

Lap 2/10!

Chill: O_O

A new kart drives up. PT is in it.

PT: :D

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Luigi
 * 2) The Gang
 * 3) Toad
 * 4) Super Mario
 * 5) Bowser
 * 6) Yoshi
 * 7) Peach
 * PT

PT: Heh. Ahahahaha!

PT writes himself into first place.

Chill57181 (wiki user): Naughty PT!

Chill57181 tosses PT back to where he was.

PT: Darn!

Meanwhile, the gang is really close to stealing Luigi's spot.

Luigi: Oh no you don't!

Luigi attempts to push the gang off the track, but fails because there are so many people in it.

Peach: Hm hm hm!

Peach gets a bullet bill and blasts into first place.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Peach
 * 2) Luigi
 * 3) The Gang
 * 4) Toad
 * 5) Super Mario
 * 6) Bowser
 * 7) Yoshi
 * PT

Yoshi: Yoshi no lose on Yoshi watch! CHEAT CODE SUPREME!

Everyone falls off the track, and it looks funny. Yoshi darts through the middle. Lakitu tosses everyone back on the track.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Yoshi
 * 2) Super Mario
 * 3) Luigi
 * 4) Peach
 * 5) Bowser
 * 6) Toad
 * 7) The Gang
 * PT

Goombario: Hey! We're in almost-last place again!

Bow: Not on my watch! Boo Blaster!

Bow jumps in the engine and it starts going super fast. Don't ask how.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Super Mario
 * 4) Luigi
 * 5) Peach
 * 6) Bowser
 * 7) Toad
 * PT

PT: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MAJIDE-

Chill57181: OH NO YOU DON'T!

PT's kart explodes.

Lap 3/10!

The new guy that drives up is...The Cute Mario Bros. Team! (Plastic Mario Figure, Plush Luigi, Plush Jack Skellington)

CMB Luigi: Oh yeh!

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Super Mario
 * 4) Luigi
 * 5) Peach
 * 6) Bowser
 * 7) Toad
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team

Toad: Weeee!

Toad's kart blows up. He gets run over by PT and CMB Team.

Pokey: Toad, out.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Super Mario
 * 4) Luigi
 * 5) Peach
 * 6) Bowser
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team

CMB Jack: Open my Jack Snacks!

CMB Mario: We can't!

CMB Jack: OPEN THEM!!!!!!

CMB Team's kart starts swerving and around and almost falls off the edge a few times. That's because CMB Jack is distracting CMB Mario. Meanwhile...

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Yoshi throws a banana. The gang easily misses it.

Luigi: Luigi time!

Luigi gets a Mega Mushroom and runs over Super Mario. He is then ran over and tossed around by Peach, Bowser and PT, until finally CMB Team smashes him off the edge.

Pokey: Super Mario, out.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Luigi
 * 4) Peach
 * 5) Bowser
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team

CMB Jack: OPEN THEM!

CMB Luigi: Or else what?

CMB Mario boosts them in front of PT. Unfortunately, PT gets a Mega Mushroom.

CMB Jack: OR ELSE THIS!

Jack drives it in front of PT on purpose. He puts on the brakes.

CMB Luigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

PT: Oh look! Somebody to-OW!

PT got hit with a star bit. He spins out of control and just barely misses CMB Team.

Bowser: CHEATER CHEATER, SHELL ON FIRE!

Bowser blows up part of the track behind him. PT and CMB Team fall down. Meanwhile, in space where the karts are falling...

Super Mario: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

CMB Jack: Uh, well, at least we can open my Jack Snacks.

CMB Mario opens the Jack Snacks.

CMB Jack: :D

Lakitu tosses PT and CMB Team onto the track - spilling the Jack Snacks in the process.

CMB Jack: >:O

PT sticks his tongue out at CMB Team. Suddenly CMB Team mushroom boosts away.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) CMB Team
 * 4) Luigi
 * 5) Peach
 * 6) Bowser
 * PT

Bowser: CHEATING BOB-OMB!

Bob-ombs start falling onto the track. They keep blowing holes in it. Luckily everyone has already passed the finish line.

Lap 4/10!

No new racer... :(

Peach: I almost got hit with that one!

Bowser: GWARHARHARHARHAR!

Suddenly a piece of Brobot smacks PT.

PT: OW!

Luigi: Almost...there!

Luigi throws a red shell at CMB Team. CMB Mario and CMB Luigi use CMB Jack's head as a shield.

Bob-ombs keep falling. The gang's kart almost gets blown up.

SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM!

BOOM!

Luigi's kart explodes.

Pokey: Luigi, out.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) CMB Team
 * 4) Peach
 * 5) Bowser
 * PT

Yoshi: This reminds Yoshi of Survivor when they would eliminate people.

Meanwhile, CMB Team, who wasn't paying attention, gets hit in the back with a Bob-omb, which sends CMB Jack flying into oblivion. It also pops a tire. Suddenly, Bowser gets a starman from a block and smashes CMB Team who flips over.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Bowser
 * 4) Peach
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team (2/3)

Peach: Oh no!

Peach falls down a hole made by a bob-omb. Lakitu tosses her onto the track.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Bowser
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team (2/3)
 * 2) Peach

The Daisy Circuit music plays because I like it.

Bowser: Oh no! The music changed! Now I'm distracted!

Bowser falls off the edge. Lakitu throws him back on.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team (2/3)
 * 2) Peach
 * 3) Bowser

Suddenly, PT spins out on a french fry. However, CMB Team smashes into him so he doesn't lose his position.

CMB Mario: Owww!

CMB Mario gets sent flying off the edge. CMB Luigi starts driving.

Bowser: Wahaha!

Yoshi gets hit with a bob-omb.

...

Yoshi: Yoshi immune to bob-omb.

Bowser: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lap 5/10

PT: 5 to go...

The music changes to Koopa Cape.

Peach: AHHH! I'M DISTRACTED!

Peach falls off the edge. The same Lakitu thing happens.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team (1/3)
 * 2) Bowser
 * 3) Peach

Bowser: Why aren't my bob-ombs hitting anybody?

A bunch of hamsters run onto the track.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Hamster Squad (no kart)
 * 2) The Gang
 * 3) Yoshi
 * PT
 * 1) CMB Team (1/3)
 * 2) Bowser
 * 3) Peach

Peach: O_O

Chill: More competition...

PT starts hopping his kart in tune to the music.

PT: Wheeeeeeee!

Peach gets a Bullet Bill and blasts to the front. She also smashes CMB Luigi's kart.

Pokey: CMB Team, out.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Peach
 * 2) Hamster Squad (no kart)
 * 3) The Gang
 * 4) Yoshi
 * PT
 * 1) Bowser

Lap 6/10

Meanwhile, PT is still hopping his kart to the Koopa Cape music. However, the music changes to Dry Dry Ruins (Mario Kart Wii Track) and he hops off the edge from confusion.

PT: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bowser: Oh, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this music!

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Peach
 * 2) Hamster Squad (no...YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW!)
 * 3) The Gang
 * 4) Yoshi
 * 5) Bowser
 * PT

Suddenly a bob-omb sends Hamster Squad flying.

Pokey: Hamster Squad, out.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Peach
 * 2) The Gang
 * 3) Yoshi
 * 4) Bowser
 * PT

PT: Heh. That dragon thinks he can beat me so easily.

PT gets the Three Mushrooms.

BOOM!

Bowser: HEY!

POW!

Yoshi: HEY!

KABLOOEY!

Chill: HEY!

Current Ranking:


 * 1) Peach
 * PT
 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Bowser

Bowser starts hopping his kart to the music like PT did, because this is his favorite Mario Kart Wii song.

Lap 7/10

Bowser: Makes ya forget your on Rainbow Road!

Bowser, indeed, forgot and fell off the edge. The rank is the same though.

Peach: I am totally going to win this one!

Chill throws a Blue Shell and sends Peach flying onto Bowser.

Current Ranking:


 * PT
 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Peach
 * 4) Bowser

Bowser continues hopping to the music - until it changes to Wario's Gold Mine and he falls off the edge again!

Chill: My favorite song!!!! :D

Chill starts hopping the kart to Wario's Gold Mine.

Goombario: You know what happened when the PT and Bowser did that, right?

Chill: Silence, nonbeliever!

Bowser gets knocked off the track with one of his bob-ombs. The bob-ombs stop falling.

Pokey: Bowser, out.

Current Ranking:


 * PT
 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Peach

Chill: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chill gets a Mega Mushroom and squishes PT.

PT: I can...still race!

Yoshi knocks PT over the edge.

Pokey: PT, out.

Current Ranking:


 * 1) The Gang
 * 2) Yoshi
 * 3) Peach

Yoshi: CHEAT CODE!

Lap 10/10

Yoshi is about to cross the finish line.

Chill: Red shell!

Yoshi gets knocked out with a red shell. The gang crosses first, and Peach didn't get enough time to pass Yoshi.

Chill: Yipee!

Suddenly the gang appears at Herbert's Castle.

Chill: THAT WAS FUN!

Kooper: IKR?

Mario: Zzzzzzz.....pie........Zzzzzzz.....

Everyone runs in circles until a door randomly appears.

Door: None shall pass, by order of Bowser!

PT: Bowser isn't in this story.

Door: Silence, nonbeli-

Door blows up. A pipe appears and the gang jumps in.

BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP!

....

....

....

Umm, where's the story?

...

...

SERIOUSLY, GET ON WITH THE STORY!

The gang comes out of the pipe and is in Peach's Castle now.

Watt: That was, umm, like really fast.

PT: Yeah, we used up too much time with the Mario Kart Race Thingy so I had to add that there.

The gang runs through Peach's Castle where they encounter Herbert. In the same room they fought him in the Prologue.

Herbert: Argh! Too much nostalgia!

Kammy: Can I fight with you? I wanna add a TTYD twist! :D

Herbert: ...Fine.

Miniboss: Herbert

Kammy: BTW Herby, I ate your paycheck because I was hungry.

Herbert punches Kammy into Chill, dealing damage to both of them.

Herbert: I don't need you to operate this machine thing!

Herbert swipes Kammy's wand.

Kammy: HEY!!! >:( I'll join you so I can defeat Herby. Then I'll eat you guys for lunch.

NEW (TEMPORARY) PARTY MEMBER! Kammy Koopa

Bow: BWAHAHAHHH!

Herbert: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Herbert grabs everyone and runs to the Power Platform thingy.

Final Boss!!!111!!11!1111!!!!222!1: Star Rodded and Power Platformed Herbert P. Bear, Esquire
PT: Too much text. One of my keys just popped off. Oh wait, that's the candy I dropped inside my keyboard a few years back. ^_^

Herbert: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!

Herbert grows super-mega-huge and starts flashing rainbow colors. A bunch of Easter Eggs form a shield around him. (What, I wanted to keep the colorful theme)

Chill: Super-Ultra-Mega-Star-Beam-of-Awesomeness!!!!!!!!!

Herbert stops flashing and his shield goes above him so it doesn't go away. But he can't use it.

???: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMENNNTIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Herbert: What the...

Dimentio appears for no reason.

Dimentio: Hello! I am Dimentio! Master of dimensions and pleaser of crowds!

Dimentio eats Herbert and turns into Super Dimentio!!!! Then he starts flashing rainbow colors and the shield appears around him!!!

Super Dimentio: :)

Super Dimentio KO's the gang. The End.

PT: That was dumb.

PT jumps out of his author booth and DOOPLISS BATTLE MUSIC PLAYS! OH THE EPICNESS!

PT: I'll be destroying you! And I'll be getting back to the story! And I'll be saying I'll way too much! Now go away!

Super Dimentio: No.

PT: I didn't want to go this far but... SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MAJIDE TIME!!!

PT and Super Dimentio appear in Majide Time. The epic part of the Doopliss Battle Music plays. Not his theme! THE battle music! :O

PT: Mwehehe!

PT and Super Dimentio appear in the theater. Forest Fuzzy and Tubba Blubba are sitting in two random seats, doomed to be PT's slaves forever. :P Hey, why is Tubba Blubba there? He escaped.

PT: I brought him here in a deleted scene.

Oh. Anyways, the same old piano introduction plays. He plays it really bad.

SD: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

ROCK!

PT throws a voicebox thingy in SD's mouth which is saying "are you serious" over and over.

SD: ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU SERIOUS? x2351

ROCK! ROCK! ROCK! x2351

Super Dimentio faints. Majide Time ends and goes back to the Power Platform. Everything is normal again.

Herbert: Gwahahaha! YOOOOOOOOOOOZ WILL LOOZ! A-GWAHAHAHA! ... Did that sound epic-er?

Herbert's English Teacher has a heart attack.

Kammy: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRGH!

Kammy swipes her wand back and destroys the Power Platform. It explodes and Herbert is sent flying into Outer Space. Chill saves Peach, defeats Kammy and goes back to his "igloo".

Aftermath: Peach's Party
Chill: Yay! A letter!

Dear Chill,

''Please come to the castle! I am having a real party this time!''

Princess Peach

Chill runs off to the castle. Peach gives a loooong speech. Oh, all the good guys are there. At the end of the speech...

Peach: Thank you.

Everyone except Peach: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

Peach: WAKE UP!

Everyone except Peach: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

Peach smacks her frying pan on the castle wall and everyone wakes up.

Chill: I...is...awake...

Chill faints. He wakes up in his igloo.

Chill: M...Huh?

Chill puts on his amulet and checkered shoes. He walks outside.

Chill: SNOW!!! I'M HOME!

Black Hole in Chill's Mind Which Kinda Makes Him Dumb: Yeah, that was a dream...

THE END!!

PT: Heh...heh... MWAHAHAHA! I WILL RETURN!

PT fades into nothingness.